
Lets get to the details.
I finished my final.. Last forever complete.. end all/the one/ whatever you want to call it . I finished my final treatment of SGN-35(Brentuximab) on January 8. (I know I should have written then.. but…

So I have been enjoying Life without treatments, without trips to SLC every couple of weeks, life without PET (well I do have one more (you know for fun)) Scans, A lot less needles.
I can not say I am not looking at the potential of a relapse…Since I started down this path I have had 3 official relapses and lots of little ones. Anyone remember the open heart surgery conversation…just to get to a Bone Marrow Transplant? Boy do I.
I am still not out of the woods. The doc gave me 50/50chance of relapsing. The bone marrow folks still REALLY REALLY want to do the allogeneic stem cell transplant. They are pretty sure the cancer will come back…
I think I was pretty clear in previous posts about how I feel about this. I would rather die than have the type of life that goes with this transplant.
So I am just hoping for the best. They (whoever they are) count cancers in 5 year windows. So the next five years are the big ones. There is little doubt that a cancer will kill me eventually or some side effect from the chemo or radiation.
Things have been going really well for the past year. With each day really better than the last. It is odd to think about how I felt and where I was at even just a year ago. As each day went by I felt better and better and thought I was fully healed, but looking back I realize how weak and struggling I still felt. Both physically and mentally. Even as late as August I was still really struggling.

I have my PET scan on Monday. I really am not that nervous but it still is…there. In my mind. Something I will have to think about for the rest of my life.
Thank you very much for your support and concern. Though this has been an interesting and sometimes very difficult journey I have learned a lot from it. Not least of which is how graciousness people are in this world. Even on my harder days it is not hard to remind myself how lucky I am for this town, my friends and the family that I have.
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